2022 :: Year In Review
Welcome to the 2022 Holiday at the Sea year in review. These are a few of my favorite things (from this year at least).
2022 :: Favorite Television
As I mentioned in my movie post, with 8 kids, a lot of my “watching time” is spent with my family including 8 kids. So most of what I watch is either repeats, kids/family things that aren’t that great, or both. But my wife and I were able to catch a few shows that really stood out.
The Bear:
Only Murders In The Building Season Two:
Loot:
Severance:
2022 :: Favorite Music
I hate ranking music. Music is not a competition. But I love year-end lists. It’s the most wonderful time of year when you get music recommendations that you might have missed from people you trust. And 2022 was a terrific year for music.
Here are 50 of my favorite music releases of 2022 (Find the list these were drawn from here). What did I miss? What do you recommend?
Ghosted by Oren Ambarchi / Johan Berthling / Andreas Werliin (WEB // BC // AMZN)
Shruti Dances by Auntie Flo and Sarathy Korwar (WEB // BC // AMZN)
Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You by Big Thief (WEB // BC // AMZN)
Ants From Up There by Black Country, New Road (WEB // BC // AMZN)
Good and Green Again by Jake Xerxes Fussell (WEB // BC // AMZN)
Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers by Kendrick Lamar (WEB // AMZN)
A Light for Attracting Attention by the Smile (WEB // BC // AMZN)
For the Love of Tabla by Toronto Tabla Ensemble (WEB // BC // AMZN)
Ali by Vieux Farka Touré & Khruangbin (WEB // WEB // BC // AMZN)
2021 Year In Review :: Favorite Books
At the time of this writing, I read 41 books in 2021. Not quite a book a week, but still a good pace. This year I finished the novels of Haruki Murakami in chronological order and started re-reading Kurt Vonnegut’s novels in chronological order. I read a lot about grief and grieving but I only had a chance to read a couple of books published in 2021. But two of them really stood out to me.
One about chewing gum, the creative process and the fight for survival. The other about a father’s love for his son and the desire for connection and the fight for survival. I’m sensing a theme.
Nina Simone’s Gum by Warren Ellis
Bewilderment by Richard Powers
Browse my favorite albums of the year
Browse my “2021 Yearly Wrap-it-Up” which is really a ramble about seeing Phish
Browse my favorite books of 2021
Browse my favorite movies of 2021
Browse my favorite television of 2021
Listen to a nearly 5-hour very low quality mix of one song from each of my favorite albums of 2021 called “Soundtrack to the Collective Meltdown”
2021 Year In Review :: Favorite Movies
As you might imagine; for someone who has eight children, I don’t get to watch many movies for myself (and by that I don’t mean “by myself,” I just mean “Not Watching Movies With Kids.”). Most of the movies I have time for are somehow kid-centered.
But five movies really stuck out to me this year, and they run the gamut. 8 hours of the Beatles rehearsing and breaking up. Somehow it both normalizes and enchants the creative process. A movie about fish boy finding himself, and a great introduction to the Velvet Underground. Oh, and a super-fun Marvel movie which I thought was their best in years.
But one of the movies that stuck out above the others for me was Pig starring Nicolas Cage. It was recommended to me as a powerful meditation on grief and, as a Hospice Chaplain and Bereavement Counselor, I was hooked. It did not disappoint.
The Beatles: Get Back
Luca:
Pig:
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings:
The Velvet Underground:
Browse my favorite albums of the year
Browse my “2021 Yearly Wrap-it-Up” which is really a ramble about seeing Phish
Browse my favorite books of 2021
Browse my favorite movies of 2021
Browse my favorite television of 2021
Listen to a nearly 5-hour very low quality mix of one song from each of my favorite albums of 2021 called “Soundtrack to the Collective Meltdown”
2020 Year In Review Wrap-Up
Thank you so much for reading this year. So much has happened this year and it’s crazy looking back on this rollercoaster of a year.
Scroll down and browse my year-end roundup.
2020 Year-End Self-Reflection
Though I admittedly do not always succeed, one of my goals is to keep on learning in life. I don’t ever want to grow stagnant or stop learning. This requires self-awareness and self-reflection and it is an ongoing process.
This year, I completed the training to become a certified Grief Recovery Method Instructor, I finished a certificate program in Palliative Care Chaplaincy through the CSU Shiley Institute for Palliative Care, and I completed my second unit of Clinical Pastoral Education through Community Care Chaplains (via the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy).
All of that has meant A LOT of self-reflection.
And, honest self-reflection means that we might not always “like” what we find.
For the first time this year, I finally dove in to some of the learnings to be found in the Enneagram. I confirmed that I am a number 4 with a 5 wing. No surprise there; my desire to be valued and understood as being “unique” has long been a driving force in my life. However, it was the realization that I go to a #2 in times of personal chaos that was a revelation for me this year. I love to help people. I love to teach. I love to equip others. I love to be needed. I need to be needed.
I oftentimes find myself in positions of leadership. Not because I have the strongest convictions, but because I can be a leader who gets people to follow. I enjoy public speaking and I love preaching. I find teaching to be a valuable skill and I love trying to distill complex ideas into everyday terms for people so that they can grow. I am often able to remain calm in distressing situations and, through lots of practice, I am able to make you feel like I am really listening to you.
All of this meant that things like planting a church and serving as someone’s pastor came fairly natural for me. I like to think that I possess (and nurture) a certain sense of “emotional intelligence” which means that I can oftentimes make you feel at ease with me fairly quickly and not only “at ease” but willing to share some pretty deep things you might not be willing to share in your everyday life. I don’t take any of this for granted. I deeply appreciate every genuine connection I am able to make with others.
But my natural abilities sometimes feed in to my weaknesses. I have come to realize that when I am not personally emotionally centered in healthy ways that I can take on the unhealthy aspects of an Enneagram #2, meaning that I will often give in to my own need to be needed. This is no good when you are a pastor whose job is to nurture people!
This year I have allowed myself to examine my own emotional boundaries and I haven’t always been happy with what I’ve found. After 15 years of serving as a Pastor, I realized that many of the relationships in my own life were not reciprocal. In other words, if we were going to get together, it was usually up to me to schedule. And then, when we did get together, 45 minutes of our hour together would be spent with you pouring our your current miseries to me and then maybe 5 minutes of you asking something like: “Oh, by the way, how are you?” It wasn’t mutual. And it wasn’t friendship.
This came as a painful realization because it meant that I had fewer real friends than I had previously considered. I had lots of relationships, but very few people caring for my best interest or looking out for me. I had very few people returning the level of care I was giving. I understand that this is often natural, especially for those in “giving occuptations,” but I am no longer a pastor and I do not disclose personal things in my work calls which means that if we still have a relationship in which it is all about you, I’m no longer interested. I wish you the best. I will help when I can. I will always love you and pray for you, but not every burden is mine to carry.
These realizations have led to some lonely self-discoveries and some lost relationships. But I am no longer willing to engage in emotionally unhealthy relationships because of my own weaknesses. I must allow my strengths to help set the healthy emotional boundaries for my relationships. If I am the only one initiating contact, I am done. If our conversations are all about you, then let’s just be honest and say that I am your counselor and we are not friends. I am your unpaid counselor.
I know that some of this sounds harsh and I do not want it to be. Instead, it is one man finally learning that if we want to devote our lives to giving to others, then we also need to take care of ourselves. This might mean pruning some personal relationships to align more with healthy emotional boundaries and it might mean re-focusing on family and personal goals.
This understanding of my own need to be needed has helped me grow in my own role as a Bereavement Counselor. Early on, I wanted people to know how much knowledge I had and how much I could help. But as I’ve learned about my own woundedness and weaknesses, I have learned that the people I speak to will talk about what they need to talk about. It is my job to hold the space well enough for them to birth their own stories. This has led to the paradoxical conclusion that the less I speak, the longer most of my phone calls end up being. People just want someone to listen without judgment.
This year has been very difficult, but I hope that I’ve learned from it. I look forward to focusing on more healthy relationships and pursuing personal goals.
2020 Year-End Television
With 8 kids, I don’t really get the chances to keep up with television the way that some of you do. That’s not a complaint, just an observation. Because, after all, I am a grown-ass adult and I will make time to watch what is important to me.
With that having been said, there were two television shows that really stood out to me this year. In a year as bleak as 2020, it does not go unnoticed on me that my two favorite television shows of the year both carried themes of positivity with them.
Joe Pera Talks With You, Season 02:
Joe’s awkward but calming presence was just what we needed going in to the final year of the white power president’s administration. And his child-like joy at “discovering” ‘Baba O'Riley’ by the Who is television at its best. No, really, the whole season is worth purchasing and that episode is a hightlight.
Visit Joe Pera’s page at Cartoon Network
Ted Lasso (Season 01):
Apple TV finds their breakout show with the disarmingly positive Ted Lasso. An American “football” coach is brought to England to coach European “football” and surprisingly heartwarming hilarity ensues.
Visit Ted Lasso’s page at Apple TV
2020 Year-End Books and Reading
Well, The only thing from 2020 that I read this year was the fun Grateful Dead Origins graphic novel and Ken Layne’s Desert Oracle (both of which appear here). But that doesn’t mean I didn’t try to do my fair share of reading. It just means that I’m not very good at keeping up with the newest books.
So, here are a few of the books/authors that kept my attention or made an impact on me this year.
Grateful Dead Origins Graphic Novel by Chris Miskiewicz
If you’ve read some of the fuller book-length treatments of the Grateful Dead, there won’t be much “new” material here for you. But that doesn’t make the graphic novel treatment any less enjoyable. Well worth your time if you have any interest in the Dead.
Purchase Grateful Dead Origins by Chris Miskiewicz at Amazon
The Overstory by Richard Powers:
Published in 2018, this beautifully written story collects the stories of seemingly random characters, intertwines them with the story of trees, and leaves us moved. Highly recommended.
The Anatomy Of Peace by The Arbinger Institute
I was assigned this book during my second unit of CPE. I don’t often do this with assigned reading materials, but I asked my wife to read it as well. It was that impactful for me. Telling the story of a 60-day teen AZ desert recovery camp, the authors force us to examine whether our hearts are at war or at peace. This book has been tremendously helpful for my own personal emotional health. Highly recommended.
Purchase The Anatomy of Peace at Amazon
Haruki Murakami
Though I’ve heard of Murakami for years, I had not actually read anything by him until this year. And, I have been captivated. First of all, any novelist who lists Kurt Vonnegut as one of their main influences already has my attention. Couple that with an author who has over 10,000 LPs, most of them jazz records?! I mean, come on, what has taken me so long to read this guy?! Kafka On The Shore was my entry point, and then a friend sent me A Wild Sheep Chase. But after that I decided to work my way through everything else in chronological order. I just started my sixth Murakami book, so that should tell you that I connect.
Desert Oracle Volume 01 by Ken Layne
A collection of tales from the Zine. Layne takes us exploring through the sunbaked Southwest where we meet UFO’s, doomed hikers, gamblers, unknown creatures, and the resiliency of human life. Even in the desert; we can find life.